Falling Even Harder
by Evangeline-Sibeliah
Summary: I'm amping up the Captain Swan goodness in season 3B. What if the dialogues ran deeper, the angst was a bit angstier, the lust a bit lustier, and the romance a lot more romantic? This story goes from 3x11 to 3x22 while expanding, adding, and reinventing Hook/Emma scenes.
1. Part 1

_**Author's Note:**_ _For scenes that are partial recaps, I recommend pairing up your reading with video clips from hookandemma's youtube channel. It will give you the visuals that I didn't describe, and also the few other Captain Swan scenes that I didn't address._

 **3X11: Going Home**

ONE YEAR LATER, NEW YORK

She didn't know the man who knocked on her door. She had a really good memory when it came to faces and she truly didn't know him. When she saw the overflow of affection and relief in his smile, she double-checked nonetheless.

"Swan. At last..."

"Whoah, do I know you?"

"Look, I need your help. Something's happened, something terrible – your family is in trouble."

"My family's right here. Who are you?"

"An old friend."

She kind of wanted to remember him, for his own sake – she wanted him to be a sane person. A dashing, ruggedly handsome sane person.

"Look, I know you can't remember me, but...I can make you."

He tried to kiss her.

Up went her knee, right between his legs.

Insane it is.

 **3X12: New York City Serenade**

"Hey! We need to talk."

"Swan," he couldn't stop himself from saying her name rather wistfully.

There she was again, with her commanding no-nonsense voice. Might as well be asking him where Cora was. How attractive he found it was beside the point, of course.

"I knew you wouldn't let me rot in that cage. I've been in my fair share of brigs, but none as barbaric as that. They force-fed me something called bologna," he tried to lighten the mood, but she wouldn't budge.

Because she was terrified. In her hand, she was holding things called photographs, proof that her life wasn't real and apparently, this fake life was so good that she needed his help to take that fatal step and tear through the lies. So he did just that – he nagged at her conscience and prodded at her detective senses.

"Perhaps there's a man that you love in the life that you've lost," he gave a bit too much away. "Regardless, if you wanna find the truth, drink up. Do you really want to live a life of lies? You know this isn't right, trust your gut, Swan, it will tell you what to do."

And she did. She took the vial and uncorked it.

In that moment, Hook realized how precious those few drops of liquid were.

 _Please don't drop it. Please don't pour it onto the sidewalk in a defiant gesture. Please, please, if you change your mind, just give it back to me so I can try again, so I can try better. Please..._

But she drank it. She then closed her eyes and braced herself like the first time she set foot on the deck of his ship.

He waited with bated breath. He had pictured the moment of their reunion many times over the last year. He imagined how her eyes would fill with a spark of recognition mixed with all the feelings she had for him – the feelings that she usually hid but in this moment of surprise, would be impossible to keep at bay. He imagined he would put on his most charming smile and ask: "Did you miss me?" while doing that eyebrow thing that made her scoff and shake her head in bemusement. And then they'd embrace, or kiss, or more, depending how late at night he was imagining the reunion.

When she opened her eyes and finally looked at him, there it was – a spark of recognition. Instead of what he expected, though, it was mixed with a whole lot of regret.

"No...I didn't give him up...Oh god, I did! I didn't even look at him and I gave him away and I never looked back! I'm the worst mother...I'm not even his true mother – Regina is."

Hook wanted to kick himself. Of course this would take precedence over her memories of the man standing in front of her. Her son.

He offered her a hug and surprisingly, she did hold onto his coat and rest her head on his shoulder for a minute.

"It's all fake. The one reason I was proud of myself was keeping Henry and managing to get us a good life...and it's all fake," she whispered.

Perhaps he was selfish. Perhaps he should've never come here. Perhaps she should've never drunk that potion. Hook had never thought of it like that before.

She extricated herself from his arms, dabbed at her eyes and composed herself.

"Sorry about that. How have _you_ been?"

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

"Frankly, I was bored. I had a life to get back to. A pirate's life."

"Really? I thought that you'd come back a hero, more or less. Didn't my parents offer to make you an, I dunno, royal harbormaster or something?"

Hook gave her a dry stare.

"Got it. Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for you. Glad to see you haven't changed."

"There wasn't anything for me in the Enchanted Forest. Why would I stay?"

It took her a second to clink her glass with his. She clearly needed to get used to his direct approach all over again.

"All was well till I got a message. A message saying that there was a new curse and everyone'd been returned to Storybrooke. The message told me that the only hope was you."

"You came all the way back here to save my family?"

"I came back to save you," he said bitterly before downing his glass.

"Save me from what?" she didn't understand, of course.

"I thought I would find you content, perhaps, but not happy. I assumed the erased memories would leave you wanting, restless, subconsciously aware that there's something missing in your life. I didn't know Regina's spell would be this good. I failed to imagine that it would give you a taste of perfect motherhood that I would then rip away from you with that potion. For that, I am sorry, Swan."

"It wasn't real," she murmured and shrugged. "It was just a dream," she told herself more than she told Hook.

The doorbell rang.

"Who is that?"

"Walsh," Emma almost teared up when she said his name. "Henry invited him."

"I can get rid of him-"

"No," she stopped him.

Hook sat back with an impotent sigh. He wanted to do something about that terrible sadness in her eyes. Surely, she didn't have to face her fake lover right this moment?

"My memories might not be real, but he is. And so are the eight months we spent together. I owe him an explanation."

Several emotions crossed Hook's face when she said that.

"What are you gonna say to him?"

"I don't know. But I care about him too much to drag him into all this. Wait here."

Hook poured himself another glass to keep himself quiet while Emma talked to _Walsh_.

What does that even mean, _I care about him too much to drag him into all this_? If she loved him, she would want him by her side in Storybrooke, right? Oh gods, please don't let that happen. The thought of taking Emma's new lover along for the ride made his stomach flip. He took an extra swig, hoping alcohol would fix that.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

"Swan?"

He ran as fast as he could after he heard the sounds of thrown furniture, but all he could see once he got to the rooftop was a battered monkey with – would you believe it – wings, falling over the edge of the building.

"Swan?!"

He couldn't see her. Terror overtook him and he ran to the edge, looking for her broken body on the pavement.

"He knew," she whispered, making him jump.

She was sitting against a toppled table, which was why he couldn't see her before. She was clutching a pipe in her hand.

"Emma," Hook sighed with immense relief. He kneeled down next to her, looking for injuries. He found none, just shock in her face.

"What the blazes was that?" he asked gently.

"That was Walsh," she started with the simple answer. "He...It was fake, he knew everything, he was keeping an eye on me. I was never safe. What I thought I could have...It wasn't even..."

Seeing her like that was killing him. But a second later, she took a deep breath and composed herself again.

"I guess it wasn't in the cards for the Savior," she said dryly and stood up. "We leave in the morning."

Hook watched her walk away.

 _This is good. This is good, right?_

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

Her "Bug" was just big enough for the three of them. Most of the road passed by in silence, with Henry on this EyePhone device-thing and Emma deep in thought behind the wheel.

Hook fell asleep in the back and only the worst of potholes would wake him, prompting Emma to wonder how much rest he got in New York, which then led her to question his sleeping arrangements. He mumbled something in answer, but he was rather certain she had just realized that he was practically homeless for that time.

He stayed up after lunch, so they put on some music.

A sharp harmonica riff cut through the air and Henry gave his mother a wide grin.

"Sorry, man, you're gonna have to bear this, it's a family tradition," the boy told Hook. He then explained that whenever he and Emma drove somewhere, they had these few songs they just had to sing along to; it was an unspoken rule that went with the Bug. Henry listed _It's My Life_ , which was quite possibly a pirate song, and named this one as his childhood favorite, _Bad to the Bone_. Apparently, he used to laugh like mad at the b-b-b-b-bad parts when he was little.

Hook saw Emma's forced smile. _Except none of that ever happened_ , it was saying.

"On the day I was born, pa-dah-da-da-dah, the nurses all gathered 'round..."

Emma sang with her son, yelling the words in pretend joy as two prickling tears slid down her cheeks. Henry didn't notice. Hook did.

Not that he mentioned it. He did his best to keep the mood light until they arrived to Storybrooke, at which point he stayed with Henry so that she could have a private moment reuniting with her parents.

 **3X13: Witch Hunt**

"They're being turned into flying monkeys?!"

"Yes, they took on simian form with the added bonus of wings."

"...I think we know exactly who cursed us."

"The Wicked Witch of the West?" Emma's sarcastic remark was met with grave silence. "Seriously? She's real, too?"

"Says the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming."

"I don't get it. It's not like we're in Kansas – why would the Wicked Witch of the West wanna come to Storybrooke?"

No one had an answer, so they called it a day. Regina went home, Mary Margaret and David disappeared behind their door and that left only Hook and Emma in the hallway.

"So...How much do you know about this Wicked Witch?" Hook was obviously fishing for a way to stay with her a bit longer.

Emma took his bait and sat down on the stairs, leaving a space next to her for him. The smile he gave her was somehow half shy and half smug.

"Well, she's green, she rules a part of Oz and she melts when you pour water on her. And then they made a musical about her where she's a good guy and it was all a big misunderstanding between her and her college buddies. But I'm pretty sure we want the first version."

"It amazes me how much you know about other worlds, you just don't expect them to exist."

"Tell me about it. I met Robin Hood and his merry men today. Excuse me for having run out of suspension of disbelief by the evening. Where's your rum?" She asked casually as she turned towards him.

Hook chuckled and opened his coat, showing her the pocket but making her take it herself. She did. He appreciated the closeness. She appreciated the rum.

"By the way, on a scale from one to ten, how much do we trust Regina?" He quickly found another topic.

"Oh, a solid seven or eight for sure," Emma threw out a number.

"I'll keep that in mind."

When he said that, Emma gave him an inquisitive look.

"What?"

"You're completely on board, aren't you?"

"Extra points for the sailing pun."

"Hook."

"Of course I am. Have I done anything to make you distrust me?"

"People are turning into flying monkeys, Hook. Haven't you considered just...leaving? No curse is holding you and you've done more than enough by bringing me here."

"Why would I leave when all the adventure is right here?"

"I'm serious."

"So am I. You can count on me, Emma."

 **3X14: The Tower**

Using his hook, the pirate captain shook a branch with red berries to see how many would fall off.

"You'll look for any excuse to use that thing, won't you?"

"At least we know we're in the right place. What now?"

"Now we start searching."

After a moment of silence, Hook made a comment: "And here we are again, tracking through some manner of woods or forest, courting danger."

"Which is exactly what I was talking about last night."

"I know, I just...wasn't expecting the severe weather conditions."

"You're definitely not dressed for it – do you even have anything without a scandalous V-neck?" Emma chuckled.

"I've never needed anything warmer."

"Really? So when you were going from one swashbuckling adventure to another all year, you avoided all the cold places?"

"...Exactly."

"You're lying," Emma stopped and turned around.

"Excuse me?"

"What happened back there – what aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing. That's my tale and I'm sticking to it."

"I still don't believe you."

"Well, let's leave it at that and you can just say thank you."

"For my memories? I already did."

"What about for saving you from a loveless marriage?"

"Is that what you think you've done?"

"He was a flying monkey."

"I didn't know that."

"Were you considering it? His proposal?"

"Does it matter?"

"Humor me."

"Yes, okay? I was in love, so of course I was considering it. But as usual, he wasn't who he said he was and I got my heart broken. Is that enough humor for you?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm glad to hear that."

"You're glad to hear that I had my heart broken?"

"If it can be broken, it means it still works."

The line didn't seem to have the desired effect, because Emma looked hurt. She slowly shook her head and whispered: "No. No, it doesn't, Hook. It worked back there, especially with my memories altered, but – what if this was the last straw? It took me years to bounce back after what happened with Neal, what if now I just...won't? Because I can't keep doing this, I can't keep getting hurt like this..."

"I'm sorry. That was a cruel thing to say. I'm sorry," he rushed out the words to stop her line of thought; bloody hell, he wanted her to look at the bright side of things, not make her this sad.

"I just can't." Emma wiped a hand down her face and composed herself yet again.

Hook wondered how many people ever got to see her like this. Vulnerable.

"Let's keep going," she said and took the lead.

 **3X15: Quiet Minds**

"Watch the cover on that one," Belle mumbled as she handed him another book.

"Dealing with a hook here," the pirate reminded her.

But then, he went back to work, searching through indexes, all peace and quiet. It was such a strange sight.

"You're staring again, lass," he said without lifting his eyes.

"Sorry, I'm just..."

"I'm not gonna jump you or anything, you have my word."

"Exactly. You're so different. Before, you were so single-mindedly...mean."

"It's called focused. And I'm sure your beloved could get much worse than me."

That shut her up for a bit. But then, she started thinking about what changed Rumple from a cold-hearted beast to a gentle soul.

"Are you in love?" She blurted out the question without thinking.

Hook stared her down.

"If you need to ask, you don't deserve to know. Half the town seems to have figured it out already," he added bitterly.

"Oh. It's Emma, right?"

Hook rolled his eyes and took a swig of his rum.

"Well, why else would you be helping me right now? She asked you to."

"No, she didn't. She just gave me a look. And I'm gonna be..." Hook interrupted his own sentence by gulping down more rum, "whatever she needs me to be."

"Until she falls in love with you?"

"And after. Especially after."

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

When Emma left Neal's hospital room, Hook looked surprised that their 'minute' took so short. She looked around the waiting room.

"Belle and David?"

"They left together to continue Belle's research."

"Oh. I need to go, too, but...I really don't trust him to stay in bed and be a good patient, you know?"

"I can stay here and keep an eye on him," Hook said on a sigh.

"Thank you. Really, Hook. I'll have more time to talk later."

"Over a drink, perhaps?"

"Sure," she said on a chuckle.

She really felt bad for ordering him around like this. But he made it so easy, and she couldn't do everything alone, she wasn't afraid to admit that.

She needed to let him know how much she appreciated his help.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

She was going to go straight to bed, but while passing Granny's, she saw Hook sitting at the bar. Alone, with a glass of something golden-brown.

He noticed her just as the doorbell rang, but he didn't speak until she ordered her own drink.

"I've just heard from David."

"I'm sorry," were the only words she could think of.

"He gave me some details, but I'm still not sure I understand what happened. I mean...Neal and Rumplestiltskin shared a body, and then Neal decided to split from him – but how did he do that?" Hook's confusion seemed to add to his grief.

"With my magic. He made me do it. He just grabbed my hands..."

Emma stopped to look at her hands.

"I told him he'd die, but he convinced me anyway. He made me kill him-"

"Gods," Hook got up from his stool and hugged her.

She really hugged him back this time. She pressed her face against his neck and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I'm so bloody sorry, Swan, I really am."

Once they both drew enough comfort from each other, Emma wiped her tears and sat back onto her stool.

"Let's just finish our drinks and go home."

"As you wish."

 **3X16: It's not Easy Being Green**

Hook was going to approach her, that was for sure. He just didn't have the opening words yet. He may seem all natural, but his opening lines were the product of a fine craft. And a closed-off Emma Swan was not an easy conversation partner.

"Perhaps I should paint a bull's eye on the Wicked Witch's back."

"She'll get more than a dart when I find her."

Hook reeled back when her next dart almost poked his eye out. It happened often. He considered it an acceptable risk for invading her personal space.

"I know you're hurting, Swan, but there're better ways to grieve Baelfire's death than letting anger overcome you."

"Let me guess: rum?"

"It never hurts," he raised his trusty bottle and smiled.

"I'll stick with anger, at least until I deal with Zelena."

Hook was worried, though. They were quite similar, Emma and him. What if she spiraled onto the path of revenge like he did?

"Take it from me, vengeance isn't the thing that's gonna make you feel better-"

"It's gonna make this town safer. And I promised Henry that I'd find the person responsible for his father's death. That's really all I can do for him right now."

"That can't be true, have you tried talking to the boy?"

"As far as he's concerned, I haven't seen Neal since he left me in jail. So anything I tell him about his dad being a hero sounds like I'm making it up just to get him to feel better."

"Perhaps I could talk to him."

"About what, leather conditioner and eyeliner?"

Ouch. She was just biting back because he was prodding. Let's not take it personal, mate. Besides, he could see a little regret in her eyes the moment those words left her mouth.

"I knew Bae as a boy," he reminded her. "Perhaps Henry would like to hear what his father was like when he was his age."

"Right. You're right, I forgot – I'm sorry." Emma flushed with embarrassment.

"No harm done."

"No, I shouldn't have said that, I..."

"I get it, Swan."

Emma sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"You'd really do that? Take him fishing or – or something, and talk to him about...?"

"Aye. It could help the boy make peace with his father's passing. And me."

"Be careful. Zelena's still out there."

"I assure you, nothing will happen to the boy while he's in my charge."

"Okay. Um, he's gonna spend some time on his iPhone, don't take it as him being asocial, he's just texting his friends back in New York. Other than that, and the memories, he should be the same Henry you got to know a year ago."

"A good lad, then."

"Yeah. Thank you, Hook."

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

"How did the queen fare against the witch?" Hook asked once Henry ran into the apartment and out of their earshot.

"She survived. The rest is definitely more than a doorway conversation."

Hook nodded his head and got ready to leave. Meanwhile, Emma stepped away from the door.

"What're you waiting for? Come on in."

She poured him a drink, made sure Henry was in the upstairs bedroom and joined him for another glass. Then she quietly told him about the duel.

"He just raised his hand and whoosh, I went flying through air. I was lucky some poor bystanders softened my fall."

"He could've killed you."

"I know. He's trying really hard to underperform every Zelena's command, I'm sure. I know you probably don't feel much sympathy for him, but...I was there with him when Neal died; and you should've seen him when Zelena made him deliver her message today – this must be torture for him, Hook. I'm really worried about him."

"About what, his sanity? I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed, love."

"No, I'm worried that even if we save him right now, he'll just...stop caring, you know? Neal made him care about being a good person, but after all this trauma..."

"Belle makes him care, too."

"You're right. I seriously don't envy her position – having to be enough for him to keep trying."

 _You're enough for me,_ he thought, but out loud, he said: "I don't get her whatsoever. For someone who's dating the Dark One, she's surprisingly judgy."

Emma scoffed: "Look at us, gossiping about Belle, of all people."

"You're right, we should gossip about the wicked bitch, instead," Hook bumped her shoulder with a smile, "I mean, how pathetic is she?"

"Pretty pathetic," Emma chuckled. "When she finally told Regina why she's doing all this, she sounded like a bratty six-year-old, let me tell you."

"Jealousy is an ugly thing."

"Yeah, but it doesn't make her any weaker. Fair and square, she basically won this fight. Except that she wanted Regina's heart, not her life. David's courage, Regina's heart...I'm guessing the third ingredient will be a brain, but I still have no idea what she's cooking."

Hook hummed in agreement and finished his glass.

"Thanks for taking Henry today," Emma said.

"Anytime."

"How was it?"

"Well, I found out that there's more Bae in your boy than you realize. I really think he needs to know about his father, Emma."

She was quiet for a while.

"Thanks again," she said without giving him any answer and saw him to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow, Swan."

 **3X17: The Jolly Roger**

"Mr. Smee, I've tried letting you down easy, now let me be more direct: I have no intention of leaving this town," Hook had to put on his mean face to get rid of the nagging crew member.

He wondered when it happened – when his crew stopped being his family. True, few of them had been with him since before he became a pirate like Mr. Smee here, but he used to kind of love them nonetheless. It took him a while to realize that they were the kind of friends that bring out the worst in you and only encourage your self-destructive habits.

"My reasons are my own. Question them again at your peril," he growled just before his reason for staying in Storybrooke approached them.

"Didn't he use to be a rat?" Emma asked as Mr. Smee withdrew.

"Aye. In many ways, he still is." He took care to clear the darkness from his face and asked: "To what do I owe the pleasure, Swan?"

"I was wondering if you could take care of Henry again."

"If you wanna get close to me, you just have to ask, there's no need to use the lad as an excuse."

"Why am I not surprised you're making this about you? I need your help because Regina needs to train me in magic. We think together we might be able to defeat the Wicked Witch."

"That's the first reasonable plan I've heard since this all began. Magic is part of you, Swan, I saw it. It's about time you embraced it..."

"I'm not embracing anything. I need to learn magic to defeat Zelena, to make sure everyone here is safe. After that, I'm done."

To Hook's surprise, Emma then opened up to him about her dislike of magic and her plans to go back to New York after the fight was over. But while he appreciated the act, he hated the news.

Some sort of a counterargument came out of his mouth, but all that was running through his head was: _New York? You can't. You can't! Can you? With your family and Henry's family and me here...Can you really, Emma? How?_

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

After an afternoon spent on his newly appropriated fishing boat, Hook took Henry to Granny's for ice cream. Tinkerbell asked him for a word in private, and after evaluating the security of the diner with Granny and Leroy in it, he excused himself for a moment.

However, Tinkerbell wasn't Tinkerbell. As soon as he turned a corner, he found a hand jabbed into his chest and a green aura freezing all his motion. His eyes shot up in time to see the fairy's features change into Zelena's.

"Turns out my sister is not the only one with a resilient heart – I did my research on you, sweet Captain Hook. Over three hundred years old, a villain, and in love? I'm sure your heart will make a perfect ingredient..."

She ripped out the magical organ with one swift movement. He could see that it was half red, half black.

"And the best thing is..."

She peppered his heart with some magical powder. He could feel the sting as if it was still within him – prickles of pain that shot through his chest and made him growl through his teeth.

"...That you won't be able to tell anyone! Everyone will think that I'm still hunting after Regina's heart while I've advanced to the next step. How delicious!"

He wanted to kill that bitch. It was one thing to be victorious; it was another to gloat while your enemy couldn't even snark back. Very bad form.

She disappeared in a cloud of green smoke and suddenly, he could move again. But for a few more moments, he felt a kind of emptiness in his chest that chilled him to the bone.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

He dropped off Henry in a foul mood and Emma could see that, so when the Charmings invited him to a family dinner with Madame Mayor and he refused, she didn't push much.

"Are you sure?" She stepped outside of the apartment and closed the door behind her.

"Another time, perhaps."

"Well, if you change your mind, you know where we'll be."

"How were your magic lessons?" Hook changed the topic.

"Successful, actually. I learned quite a few tricks – but apparently, most white magic is improvised rather than, you know, specific spells and curses. Once I opened myself to it...I feel like it somehow rewired my brain. I can see – I don't know how to say it – magic in things around me and sometimes even in people. It kinda freaks me out."

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. Your magic should be a good thing."

"Yeah, maybe it's just that I'm not used to it," Emma wrapped her arms around herself and shrugged. Her gift truly did make her uncomfortable. "So, how was the afternoon with Henry?"

"Taught him how to tie knots today. I really like the lad. I...Perhaps it's not my place, but I really think it would do the boy less harm to tell him the truth even though he can't remember it, as opposed to taking him away from Storybrooke. I also think it would be better for you, Swan." There. This was the answer he should've given her the first time.

Emma sighed and stayed quiet for a while. That was good – she wasn't refusing his idea right out of the gate. She rubbed her forehead and then dropped her hand.

"I mean, what do _you_ think about New York?"

"I think that if you go back there after this, you won't find the paradise you had when your memories were altered."

"No, I mean personally. You left your home world several times, so mabye it doesn't feel like much of a home to you; and you don't seem to have your old ship anymore. Can you imagine living in New York?"

Hook frowned in confusion. What did that have to do with anything?

"Well, the modernities are a bit of an obstacle for me, and piracy is clearly not an option in New York..."

Wait, was she asking because she wanted to know if...?

"But I guess it depends on the companions. My crew, for example, would make for terrible company in New York. They'd fail to adapt, and they'd ruin any attempts at having an honorable living."

With her arms still wrapped protectively around her, Emma stepped closer.

"What I'm asking is, if we defeat Zelena and send the people of Storybrooke back to their world, and if Henry still won't have his memory back, would you consider coming with us to New York?"

Hook stared at her with his mouth open. He couldn't believe she was asking him this openly, that she finally revealed her cards. But why now when his heart was missing and he didn't know if he'd ever get it back?

"You don't have to say anything, I didn't wanna jump you like this, I'm sure it's a lot to think about-"

"Yes," he finally found the voice to answer.

"It's an open offer, you don't have to answer right now-"

"Yes," he repeated. "I just..." He tried to tell her about his heart, but nothing came out. Come on, say something else, then! _I still don't think it's the best solution for you and Henry_ , came to mind, but Hook stopped himself from saying that and actually imagined living with Emma and Henry in New York.

He'd probably have to find his own apartment and a job, and the beginnings would be hard. But in time, he would win Emma's heart and Henry's approval. What would it be like to live together as a family? Hook lost himself in the selfish dream.

"You just what?"

Again, Hook opened his mouth, but he couldn't say what he really needed to say and he was afraid to say anything else.

"Excuse me, good night," he turned on the spot and ran like a coward.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

 _ **Author's Note**_ _: Why is this story super late? I started writing it a couple years ago in the middle of season 3, when I was stuck home with pneumonia, and I'm finishing it now that I'm down with the flu. I call this type of fanfic 'lazy fanfiction' because it follows the plot so closely it's basically dialogue transcription with small bits of your own writing. This will change more and more in parts 2 and 3. I came up with the story before season 4 started – so having Hook's heart stolen is just a weird coincidence._


	2. Part 2

**3X18: Bleeding Through**

Hook was grumpy.

He spent all of last night attempting to write down the secret about his stolen heart; he tried telling it to nobody in particular while recording it on his phone device; he tried cutting out words from a newspaper and composing the message; but nothing worked, the curse on his heart stopped him before he even got the first word out.

And now, he couldn't find Emma. It was a special skill of his, nay, a superpower, to be around whenever she needed him. So this morning, he looked for her in Granny's diner, where apparently she had picked up two coffees to go, then at the police station, where according to David she never arrived because she was working on something with Belle, then at the library, which was closed, and then finally at Gold's pawnshop. Needless to say, by the time he found her, he was even grumpier.

Why was he doing this to himself? Why did he follow her like a dog almost every day? Was he growing tired of it because his heart was missing and his feelings were growing weaker, or was it because he was realizing that he had never been worthy of her to begin with, but especially now, without a heart?

"We're closed – oh, Hook. Come on in," Belle said. He imagined an air of judginess in her tone and answered with a sneer.

"Hook! Are you here to join us for research? I remember a certain someone saying you had a talent for it," Emma gave him a welcoming smile.

Oh, right. That's why he bothered.

He managed a weak smile in return.

"What are we looking for, love?"

"Well, Regina and I took a good look at her heart this morning. We have two theories why Zelena wants it: either she needs a heart that's mostly black, or she needs the heart of a blood relative. So I decided to go through Gold's spellbooks and look up this kind of ingredient in combination with someone's courage and maybe even a brain. I'm hoping this new _magical thinking_ or whatever will help us find the right spell."

"But we could always use help with index searching," Belle added gratefully.

See, she's a sweet girl. Don't vent your bitterness on her.

"All right, then, where's my pile?"

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

They found it. They actually found it: Zelena was attempting a time travel spell.

In hindsight, Emma thought that Belle could've come to the same conclusion on her own, but Belle assured her that it would've taken her forever.

"Such few clues and you still found it. You're a bloody genius, Swan," Hook was ready with his compliment. She was surprised that he wasn't getting tired of giving them. She was also surprised that they still made her feel so good.

"Well, it doesn't exactly win the game for us," she said with a blushing smile. "We still need to figure that out whose brain she wants as her third ingredient. Until then, I guess we could make some sort of a magical prop that looks like Regina's heart and let her steal it. Yeah, that could work."

His face fell as if she said something sad. What was going on with him lately?

"Let's call my parents and Regina to Granny's and tell them. We could also use a shot of something to celebrate and switch off for the evening."

"Umm, it's around closing time, actually," Belle objected.

"I'm sure Granny will make another exception for us."

"Actually, I...don't really drink. Um, I think Lacey had a bit of a drinking problem, so I'm trying not to encourage it," Belle admitted while squeezing her hands in embarrassment.

"That's fine, you don't have to order-"

"You know what? I could go and tell Snow and Charming on my own, and you two could go have that drink," Belle uncharacteristically interrupted Emma in the middle of a sentence.

Emma tilted her head. Was Belle playing matchmaker? Getting Hook alone to talk was nevertheless exactly what she wanted, so she played along.

"Sure, we can do that. Thanks for all the help, Belle."

"One step closer to saving Rumple," she shrugged.

"We'll walk you half the way."

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

"Boom! Granny's To Go. I should open a franchise."

"That's impressive," Hook said, but he didn't sound impressed at all.

Come on, what was up with him? He'd said he liked her magic. She was trying to make him smile here. She was beginning to feel like the court jester in front of a depressed queen, but here she went:

"You wanna see something really impressive?"

She twisted her hand and giggled when he noticed that his hook was dangling off of a coat hanger.

"It's bad form, Swan, tempering with a man's hook," he snapped at her.

Emma tried to keep her voice light, but inside she was growing worried.

"Okay, seriously, what is up with you?"

She couldn't remember the last time he was this negative. Towards her, he'd always been the playful one, even when they were enemies.

He faced away from her while he reattached his hook.

"I apologize for my rudeness. It's a long story, too long for now," he brushed the issue off, but Emma could feel her spider sense tingling.

He was lying. He was keeping something away from her.

"Is this about the past year? Hook, whatever happened, whatever you're keeping from me – I've realized that it doesn't really matter. You don't have to tell me everything."

Maybe being serious was what he needed.

Hook gave her a pained look.

"It's not about that, it's..."

"...It's what?"

He took a breath and opened his mouth, but the only thing that came out was a frustrated sigh. Was he frustrated with her?

"Nothing."

Emma tried to think of an explanation that wasn't 'he's giving up on you', but what else was there?

"Obviously, something's going on," she tried again.

"It's nothing!" Hook barked. "Forget it, ignore me, you know how to do that," he grumbled and then occupied himself with finishing the bottom of his glass and carrying on with his own flask.

Emma felt panic rising up in her throat.

"All right, is this about New York? You've been weird since the moment I made that offer," she came out with her only hypothesis.

"What?"

"If...I mean, if it's too late for that, I'm sorry, and – and I absolutely won't hold you to that answer you gave me..."

She was hoping that Hook would've corrected her by now, but he was just staring at her.

"I just hope that we can still be friends," she wanted to sound all composed and ready for his refusal, but instead, her voice skipped an octave and her hands were shaking.

She sounded pathetic. Great.

Hook's expression changed from blank to agonized.

"No," he grabbed one of her hands. "No, no, that's not it at all. Please, don't ever think that."

Emma stared as he pressed her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles without really kissing them.

"It's...If only I could find a way to tell you...I..."

Instead of finishing that sentence, he closed his eyes, squeezed her hand and gave another frustrated sigh. They stayed like that for a few seconds.

"Regina," he said so suddenly it made her jump. "Maybe she can...That could work. Come with me."

He let her grab her coat and dragged her out into the night.

He never let go of that hand.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

"What's this about? Why were so mysterious over the phone?" were Regina's welcoming words.

"I have to tell you..." Hook stumbled over his own words.

"What?"

"I can't. But maybe I can sh..." Hook stuttered yet again. He gave an annoyed growl. Then, he grabbed Regina's hand and put it against his chest.

"Excuse me?" she tried to pull away, but he held her wrist tight and repeated the gesture, eyes imploring her to understand. "Whatever sentiment you're trying to convey, I'm pretty sure it's not reciprocated," Regina said.

"Wait," Emma spoke up, her eyes pinned to the place Regina's hand was resting against.

Her brows knitted and the gears in her head began to turn. Her magical vision came into view and she could see Regina's power; she could see the empty space inside her chest; and she could see a similar cavity inside Hook's.

"His heart," she gasped. "Reach inside for his heart."

"Why?"

"I don't think it's there," Emma whispered fearfully.

Regina raised an eyebrow and did what Emma asked. She didn't do it as carefully as she could have, making Hook wince in pain. After a couple seconds of searching, her hand came out empty.

"You're right. Are you being controlled?" the queen changed her pose, ready to strike him with magic.

Hook tried to shake his head, but his body froze.

"Are you tongue-tied?"

His lack of response seemed to be exactly what Regina wanted to see.

"Yes, you are, I recognize the spell. Was it cast upon your lips or heart?"

Again, Hook didn't reply in any way.

"Well, that's the first thing we need to figure out. If it's on his heart, it's practically impossible to undo unless we get it back. But there may be other things we could do."

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

"There. The ointment is ready."

"So you rub it into your hand, put that hand inside Hook's chest and you'll be able to see and hear the surroundings of wherever his heart his?"

"Better yet. _You_ will," Regina smirked.

"What? But I can't take hearts," Emma blurted quickly. She wanted to have no part in this.

"I'm sorry, do _I_ spend every waking moment with Mr. Black Leather Fetish here? If we want to spy on Zelena, we need to do this regularly. Besides, it's about time you learned that trick."

"Don't worry, Swan, it's not that difficult. Even I learned how to do it. You won't hurt me, I promise," Hook mumbled close to her ear. How he managed to get so close to her without her noticing half the time, she had no idea.

"Well, doing it with black magic is on the easier side. The white magic way is more about…emotional connection…empathy…or something to that effect," Regina shrugged nonchalantly.

It's intimate, Emma learned. It took her half an hour of trying before she figured it out. She kept staring at his chest, her eyes almost burnt a hole into his leather waistcoat and later, when he took it off, into his black shirt, but it still didn't work. Sweat dropped down her temples, she was clearly accessing her magic, but she couldn't find the connection that would grant her entry. Then, he surprised her by putting his hand over hers. She looked up, their eyes met and he gasped.

"You're doing it," Regina said. "Keep doing what you're doing!"

So she kept looking into his blue, blue eyes that were opening up to her more with every second. And then she felt it, a tug on her mind, and she could still see Hook's face but she could also see darkness and hear silence.

"It's dark, it must be inside a box or something," she said.

"You have to draw back, further away from the heart. But not too far, or you'll lose the connection."

"How do I do that?"

"I don't know, just feel it. There's no joystick for it," Regina was probably rolling her eyes.

"Come on, Emma, you can do it," Hook whispered. He was still gently holding her wrist while the rest of her hand was deep inside his chest.

"Okay. Okay. I think I've got it. The heart's inside a square box. There's also...a round box with a piece of David's sword and a hexagon one in the same chest."

"The third box, is it empty?" Regina asked.

"Yes, I think so. There's no one around, no one talking. I'll try to draw back as far as I can..."

Emma regained her normal vision and both gave an exhausted sigh as she pulled her hand out of Hook's chest.

"Was it at her farmhouse?"

"Can't say for sure. I lost visual too early. All I could see was a brick wall, a slanted ceiling, and an old wardrobe. Are you all right?" She turned to Hook.

"I'll be fine, love."

"Maybe we shouldn't do this too often?"

"He's fine, he's fine. You can do it as many times as you want," Regina waved her hand dismissively.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

The next day, they all met again at Regina's, this time to 'summon the dark vortex' and find out exactly where the Wicked Witch might want to go with her time travel spell.

At the end of the day, after thinking they failed first, they found out that Zelena probably wanted to change the past by killing Snow White's mother, Princess Ava, before she could tell Cora's secret and thereby force Cora to give Zelena away.

"Where's Henry been all this afternoon?" Hook asked while leaving Regina's house.

"With Ruby and Granny. Henry made Ruby promise to teach him how to bus tables. It's a typical first summer job for teenagers, so he might need it one day."

"Oh, by the way...I, uh, I've rented a room above Granny's diner. I figured it's closer to all the action than the docks, and, um, whenever we want to spy upon Zelena, the Charming's is rather crowded..." He scratched the back of his ear nervously. The missing fisherman's boat he appropriated after arriving to Storybrooke was never comfortable to sleep in, anyway.

"Right. Wanna try again before I go pick up Henry?" She asked with that matter-of-fact tone of hers.

"Certainly."

She seemed to be trying her best not to acknowledge the awkwardness of their situation. She took three seconds to scan his room, took her coat off and asked: "So, shall we?"

"You'd prefer to do it standing?" The double meaning wasn't even intentional this time.

She blushed a little bit.

"You're right, let's sit down."

Of course, the only place they could sit next to each other was on the bed.

"Would you mind taking off your waistcoat-doublet thing again," her voice went a little high as she said that.

"As you wish."

She took a minute to rub the special ointment into her hand and to focus on the magic inside her. Then, with a deep breath, she opened her eyes and put a hand over his heart.

Lovely. If only they were here for a different reason.

"Okay, I think I'm ready. Are you?"

"I'm ready for you," he replied huskily.

She looked up, probably to admonish him for those double entendres, but the moment their eyes met, her hand sunk into his chest and her sight glazed over.

"I'm there. Ow. I see Gold's face, really close up. Zelena's holding him by his hair, pushing his face into the chest. She's got the dagger, too. She's saying something...

" _I hope you enjoyed the taste, because that was the last time...If you try anything like that again, I might just change my mind and take your brain instead of Emma's. Would you like that? Blah blah blah...Feel free to open that box – that's all it takes. Imagine the long centuries you would have to spend blind_.

"That's it. She closed the chest and told him to go back into his cage," Emma gave an overwhelmed sigh and disconnected from Hook's heart. "You all right?" she checked again.

"Aye. Are you?"

"Yeah, I just...We kind of hit the jackpot with this one. I need to write everything down before I forget it."

"I heard something _I_ won't forget. Zelena wants to steal your brain."

 **3X19: A Curious Thing**

"It makes sense. The ingredients are supposed to be a hero's courage, a resilient heart, and a wizard's brain. Or, you know, the brain of a magic user."

Snow White and Charming nodded their heads in understanding.

"Oh, come on!" Henry could be heard from upstairs.

"What was that?" Hook worried.

"Level 21," Snow sighed.

"Apparently, it's a bitch," Emma added.

Hook still didn't get it.

"He's playing a game on his phone," Prince David explained.

"Oh."

"So, what do we do now? Pull some sort of a mirror at her when she tries to attack you? She could end up taking her own brain," David suggested.

Hook's idea was: "How about we gather a few volunteers who can't do any magic whatsoever and put some sort of a spell on them that makes them look like you? While you look like someone else?"

"Or, let's look at it this way: Zelena plans to use _your_ courage, _your_ heart, and _your_ brain," Snow pointed at David, Hook, and Emma respectively. "Maybe there's some sort of a protection ritual or white magic counterspell you three could do?"

"I have no idea if that's even possible. Let me take a look, who knows, we could be magically connected already," Emma said.

She took a moment to activate her special vision and used it to scan Hook...and then David...

"What the hell is that? Is that half a heart?" she interrupted herself.

"What?"

"That's-"

"I don't-"

Before anyone could make any sense of it, a wave of some sort of magic crashed into them.

"Aah! Crap!" Emma covered her eyes and screamed in pain.

"What is it? Is it Zelena?" Hook jumped to her defense. He looked around but he saw no trace of the Wicked Witch or her hexagon box.

"No, it's okay, it's okay," she laid a calming hand against his chest.

"The curse. Someone just broke the curse!" Snow realized.

Then, as always when anything significant happened, she and David hugged and kissed.

"It was true love magic. With magic vision on, it almost burnt my freaking eyes out," Emma explained.

The Charmings then revealed themselves as the perpetrators of the curse and explained that Zelena's only weakness was white magic. They began to wonder who could've broken the curse other than Emma.

Suddenly, Charming tensed up.

"You lied," he dared to look Hook straight in the eyes and accuse him.

"Sorry, mate?" Hook said through his teeth. Were this a couple years ago, Hook's sword would be out of its sheath already.

"You said you brought Emma to Storybrooke..."

"Because you received a message from us!" Snow remembered as well.

"Aye, what of it?"

"We didn't send you any message."

This can't be happening.

"Well, I bloody got one!" Hook snapped and looked at Emma, sure she would defend him.

She hesitated for just a second and he hesitated with her.

"He said he only assumed it was from you," she said.

"Exactly. Everything pointed to you: the bird, the plea, information where to find Emma, the memory potion – who else would do all that?"

"Do you have proof?" Snow pressed on.

Hook was outraged.

Emma was silent.

"Do you still have that letter?" the prince asked.

Hook ignored him, his eyes on Emma. Her response was the only one that mattered.

"Well, do you?" she asked quietly, gently.

"Yes, it's in my room above Granny's."

"Let's go then."

"What about Henry?"

"We'll take him with us. So act normal," Emma gave her parents a small glare.

On their way out, Regina called.

"It was you?" Emma gasped into the phone. "But how – and without your – and Henry's upstairs – I mean, who did you kiss? An unnamed gentleman," she repeated her answer while rolling her eyes. "Well, congrats. On, you know, the curse breaking, and that unnamed gentleman. Let's regroup at Granny's and compare your new memories with what we know about Zelena's plan."

"I thought Regina didn't have her heart," Hook wondered while Emma hung up.

"She doesn't."

"But the curse can only be broken by a true love's kiss..."

"I guess people are capable of it even with metaphorical organs missing," Emma shrugged.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

Maybe Emma should've seen it coming.

Hook had been strangely quiet on their way to Granny's.

He walked in silence while holding a hand over his chest.

When she asked him if he was okay, he gave her a genuinely surprised: "I think I am, love."

Then, Zelena attacked.

"Mom...?!" Henry exclaimed, pointing at the flying monkeys.

"Get the boy!" Zelena commanded.

With the joined effort of Emma, Mary Margaret, David and Hook, however, the monkeys had no chance.

"Doesn't matter," Zelena growled and focused on the one that was the furthest from the huddle around Henry, Captain Hook.

Her hand glowed green as she made a pulling motion that tripped him and dragged him towards her until that hand was secured around his neck.

"I'm sure the Savior would make a sacrifice for any of you. Come here, Emma, and open this box, or he'll die. Don't worry, you'll only lose your sight...more or less."

Emma saw a familiar hexagon shape in Zelena's other hand.

She expected Hook to shout the typical 'Don't do it, Emma! Save yourself!' but instead, his eyes were glued to the box as much as his neck was glued to Zelena's grasp.

"Don't even think about trying to use it on me, pirate. Warding myself against this box was the first thing I did when I got my hands on it," Zelena spat.

Hook looked at Emma.

Then, he smirked at the Wicked Witch.

Then, he put his face in front of the box and opened it.

Emma screamed something, a word or maybe even a name.

Zelena shouted a very clear NO.

Sharp light streamed out of the box, through Hook's eyes and into his head, where it spent some time bouncing around, which must've been painful judging by the sounds he was making. It left his head and slithered heavily back into the box, obviously taking something away with it.

Emma watched with morbid curiosity, masochistic guilt and immense anger.

She was angry at him because he didn't leave Storybrooke when he had the chance.

She was angry at herself because he kept doing these huge things for her that she had no way of repaying except for giving him her heart which would be terrifying.

But mostly, she was angry at the Wicked Witch. She felt a burst of magic building up within her, she wasn't completely sure whether it was white, but it was certainly _white hot_. She aimed it all at Zelena.

Smoke rose from her burning skin and Zelena shrieked. A thought occurred to Emma and she refocused her magic to do something useful apart from causing a whole lot of pain. In seconds, Zelena had no choice but to teleport away in a puff of green smoke.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

It hurt more than he thought it would, but so did most painful things he had done over the last three centuries. At last, the light was done scraping the inside of his skull. As he expected, it left his eyes altered – filled with a nebulous haze that rendered him virtually blind.

The rest of his senses slowly returned and he could hear Zelena's screams and smell her burning flesh, followed by a peppery scent of green smoke and silence after battle.

"Was she – for a moment – was she naked?" the prince stuttered.

"Yeah. I burned her clothes off," Emma's voice, cold and bitter, was getting nearer.

"Why?" Snow White asked.

Emma stopped next to where he was lying on the ground and dropped into a crouch. She acknowledged him with one hand on his shoulder while the other rummaged through the hissing remains of Zelena's clothes.

"Because I figured...she'd always have it...somewhere on her person," she mumbled. Then, she made a smug scoffing sound.

"Rumpelstilskin's dagger," Charming gasped.

"Are you in pain?" Emma started another, much softer conversation.

"Not right now," Hook whispered back.

Before they could say anything else, Henry's voice cut in.

"What the hell was that?! Why does _he_ have a sword?! What was that box?! How did you do that thing with the...?"

 **3X20: Kansas**

Mere seconds after he went blind, Hook already felt like he was missing out – because Emma got her hands on Rumpelstiltskin's dagger.

"Do something so that Zelena won't know you're missing and come here," she whispered into the blade.

He could hear her quick exchange with Rumpelstiltskin, during which she came up with the idea to create a copy of the dagger and leave it in the pile of burnt clothes for Zelena to find, so that he could work as a double agent. Rumpelstiltskin followed Emma's suggestions as if they were law.

"You'll give it back, right? After she's gone," his voice grew anxious.

"I'm pretty sure I will," was probably the best answer Emma could honestly give him.

She touched Hook's elbow and he turned towards her, even though he couldn't see her.

"Can you do something about his eyes before you leave?"

"Not really, not when his heart's missing, too. You'll have to wait till you get the ingredients back."

"Well then. Go."

Hook really wished he could've seen her dominate the Crocodile like this.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

"Eight, nine stairs. Now two steps to the left and we're at the door."

Holding his hand, she led him into the Charmings' apartment.

"The doorknob is here, the door opens inwards," she hoped she wasn't making him feel like a child with all this.

"I remember this much, love. It's the inside that might be a problem."

"Should've invited you over more often. Okay, we're in. You've got attic stairs on your left, the dining table on your right, and behind the table, the couch. If you take a few more steps ahead...Now you've got my parents' bed on the left, the kitchen on the right, and even more to the right, the bathroom. You'll be sleeping on the couch, so let's go there."

"As if this place wasn't crowded enough," the pirate sighed.

"Hook...Thank you for not fighting me on this. I know it's gonna be tight, but I need to know that you're safe."

"I understand."

"Good. Welcome to our magical safehouse for pregnant queens and memory-impaired teenagers," she quipped.

"And one-handed pirates with no brains or..." He tried to joke back but couldn't finish because he still couldn't talk about his missing heart.

She held his hand a little tighter in support.

"Okay, so the couch is just a few steps away from the bathroom. You can tell the bathroom walls by touch, they're from this milky glass, see? The door is over here."

"Swan?"

"Yes?"

"Are we going to discuss...what I did? I assume you're angry."

"A little, maybe, yeah."

"I assure you, I had many good reasons for that decision."

"Really."

"Of course. One, I am no wizard, so the hexagon box might be useless to her now."

"Hook...But you can take hearts. That's magic."

"...Right. Then how about two: collecting two ingredients from the same person might sabotage the ritual?"

"I don't remember reading about that..."

"Then I shall contend myself with three: it was the only thing I could do that would keep you safe." He kissed the hand he was holding.

She let him do it, but she didn't say anything, which made him frown in confusion. She winced. She should be using more words now that he was blind. Otherwise, her silence could feel like punishment to him.

"Emma? I'm sorry, I should've probably waited until you were less angry with me..."

"I might me a bit upset, but I'm not thankless, Hook."

Her hand yet again squeezed his.

"Thank you," she said with gravitas.

A lopsided grin appeared on his face: "I seem to remember a certain way you've thanked me before."

Emma scoffed and paused. She wanted to.

His face became serious when he realized she was considering it.

But then she remembered something and gasped.

"I can't kiss you, Killian," she whispered.

"Why? You afraid I'll turn into a flying monkey?"

"Worse."

"That I'll betray you and abandon you? I'd never do that, Swan."

"Still worse."

"How could it possibly...?"

"I've kissed a cursed man before. He died. His name was Graham. I kissed him, his curse broke, and then he died."

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

Emma practiced white magic with Regina. Her father worked at the sheriff's station. Hook's days were filled with talking to Henry and Snow White, listening to the movies they watched, bumping into furniture and feeling useless. Emma was in only shortly in the mornings and then in the evenings, when she had to divide her time between her son, her parents, Hook, and, apparently, Rumpelstiltskin.

On the third night, she went to see the Dark One around midnight and came back a good hour later. Hook was the only one who stayed up that long.

"Any news?" he whispered.

"Yeah, I'll tell everyone in the morning. I'm dead on my feet."

Hook grinded his teeth and shifted his weight. _Killian Jones, don't you dare snarl at her,_ he told himself. _Find another way to vent._

She must've seen his frustration, because she walked over to him and took his hand.

"Come on, let's talk outside."

He didn't really need hand-holding around the apartment anymore, but he liked it when she touched him, so he never said a word.

"How was your day?" she asked as soon as the door closed behind them.

"Same old. Your mother and Henry went through more than fifty pages in that fairy tale book of theirs. I provided colorful commentary," he smirked as he sat on the stairs.

"Is he still doing good?"

"Considering that he doesn't remember any of the things he's reading, yes. He's very sharp. What did the Crocodile say?"

Emma gave a heavy sigh.

"That bad?"

"It's not just him, it's everything. I know you're probably the last person I should be complaining to, but..."

"I want to hear it."

"Okay. Gold was going to replace the three ingredients with replicas today. But it turns out we wasted our time making them – the boxes won't let go of the originals. The only way to release them is to start the ritual. Or, I'm thinking, any ritual that includes courage, heart and brains."

"Oh."

"I know. That's why I took so long. We were trying to figure out a way around it."

"Have you?"

"Not yet."

"Perhaps there is none."

"Then I'll have to make one. I'll get it all back, I swear," she said with determination.

"Oh, I know you will. Zelena will be sorry she crossed you."

He put his hand on the jean-clad knee that was resting next to his, and she let him.

"You said there was more than one thing bothering you," he reminded her.

"Yeah. It's...I'm beginning to realize that the New York thing is pretty much out of the question. I kept thinking about Henry and me, and I completely forgot about one really important person."

"Who?"

"Regina. She will never let him out of her sight again."

"Do you still wish you could go?"

"Yes...but you're right. It's not the city I wanna go back to, it's not the job or the apartment, it's the life we had when our memories were different. I mean, for the first time, I felt home. And my life wasn't perfect, but the problems I had were normal. I don't think I'm ever gonna have that as the Savior..."

She fell silent.

"I don't think I'm ever gonna have that," she repeated on a broken whisper.

"Emma," he squeezed her knee a little tighter.

He could tell that she was trying to pull herself together, so he chose his words very carefully.

"I agree that you may never have a normal life. But you can still have happiness."

She covered his hand with hers and held it for a minute or two before she got up and led him back into the apartment.

"Thank you, Killian. For everything," she said instead of good night.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

"Morning."

"Morning, love."

Emma chuckled into her coffee.

"Anything funny?"

"Um, how long have you been sitting here?"

"Short of an hour, why?"

"So you were here when David got ready for work, and when Mary Margaret was making breakfast, and when Henry was eating it...And none of them told you you have a terrible case of bed hair?"

Some muffled sniggering could be heard from the next room.

"Splendid," Hook grumbled, trying to pat his hair down.

"Come on," she got up and dragged him into the bathroom. "Am I allowed to use products or should I just try with a comb and some water?"

She was rarely this cheerful in the mornings, and he wanted to play along.

"Products...?"

"Hair products. They smell nice," she coaxed him.

"Righty-ho, then."

He didn't expect her to stand so close to him, so that was nice. He could swear his hand and forearm had a life of their own because they somehow rested on her hips, but she didn't seem to mind. Were they even closer now, after last night? Personally, Hook liked their heart-to-heart very much. He felt a little guilty for feeling good about a moment when Emma felt bad, but mostly glad because she admitted something she needed to admit to herself and because she let him be there to support her.

He liked the feeling of her fingers in his hair. He tugged her a little closer. She let him. He rubbed his thumb over her jeans and she leaned into him a little. She would've let him kiss her right then, he was sure of it, his instinct was almost never wrong about this.

And he wanted to. Gods, he wanted to.

But he remembered her fear of killing him and he imagined how upset she'd be with him and herself for letting the kiss happen once it was over.

So he didn't do it. But he needed to do something else to compensate, and he considered sneaking his hand an inch under her shirt to touch her bare skin or kissing a trail up her neck or cupping a feel or saying I Love You or...

"Mom? Mom! I think Mary Margaret's water just broke!"

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

Everything happened so fast.

Mary Margaret went into labor.

Emma grabbed everyone in the apartment and drove them to the hospital.

David wasn't picking up his phone.

Regina arrived and helped Emma set up a magical barrier around Mary Margaret's hospital room.

David still wasn't there.

Zelena attacked.

Zelena failed.

To her credit, she did come prepared – her monkeys had managed to subdue David and take him hostage. She knew she wouldn't be able to cross the barrier, so she brought something to bargain with. Luckily, Mary Margaret was never asked to decide between her husband and her child, because Rumpelstiltskin chose the perfect moment to backstab her. With Regina and Emma around to take care of the flying monkeys, his job was done in a matter of minutes.

David rushed to Mary Margaret's side.

Emma's brother was born.

Zelena was depowered and detained.

Rumpelstiltskin went to get the three boxes.

Belle arrived with a spellbook containing the most innocent ritual she could find, just like Emma asked – a small blessing spell for a newborn.

Rumpelstiltskin returned. They set up a small circle of candles in a waiting room and performed the ritual for Emma's brother. The courage, the heart and the brain were released out of their boxes.

Hook got his sight back in time to remark that his heart seemed redder than he remembered it.

Regina broke Hook's silencing spell.

Emma joked that with his heart and brain powering the blessing ritual, Hook was now as good as her brother's godfather.

The next day, Zelena would seemingly commit suicide in her cell.


	3. Part 3

**3X21: Snow Drifts**

Storybrooke was celebrating.

The royal mother and child were allowed to leave the hospital and attend a small party at Granny's. The Charmings were waiting for the naming ceremony to reveal the baby's name, which Emma found weird, but she kept that to herself.

She lost sight of Henry for a moment and found him at the door, hugging Regina.

"Did something happen?"

"Yes," Regina smiled the biggest smile Emma had ever seen on her face.

"Mom, I remember! I remember everything!"

"Rumpelstiltskin made more of his memory potion for Henry," Regina explained.

"And he...already drank it?" Emma felt as if the ground beneath her feet was giving way.

"Yes. Was I supposed to wait for your permission?" Regina's eyebrow went up.

"Of course not, of course," Emma stuttered. She looked around the diner, lost for words.

(She noticed Hook noticing her.)

She was probably supposed to say something now...

"Miss Swan?"

"Right! I'm happy for you. Sorry, my brain's a little fried. Henry, would you like to...go tell your grandparents? Or maybe, I don't know, I'll do it while you catch up with Regina?"

Henry chose the latter. Emma composed herself and delivered the news to the Charmings. The whole diner erupted in joy, waking the newborn with their cheers. Soon after that, Emma was bombarded by questions she wasn't ready to answer.

"Are you going to be the sheriff again?"

"Where are you going to live? I take it you'd like to have your own place now, what with the baby and all..."

"Where is Henry going to live?"

"I don't know. I guess. I'm not sure," she kept saying while Hook was watching her. Dodging his inquisitive look, her eyes fell on the fairy tale book Henry had been reading from.

"Listen, it's getting a little stuffy in here. I think I'm gonna take a walk. Mind if I take this?"

No one thought to argue as she grabbed the book and made her way out of the diner.

She wasn't too surprised to find a pirate on her heels.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

He didn't stop her, because that wasn't what she needed. He let her walk wherever her feet led her, which happened to be the town park next to the hospital. He gave her time to process her thoughts – she was looking through the fairy tale book and shaking her head, which he didn't quite get, but the lost look in her eyes, that he knew very well.

"Cold feet?" He finally let himself be known.

"What do you mean?"

"Open book, Swan. You want to run away, I can see it in your face."

"Haven't you heard the news? I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying."

"You don't seem too ecstatic about it."

"Do I have to be?"

Her uncooperative mood didn't discourage him one bit. He sat down next to her.

"You have the look of a caged bird, love. Why?"

Emma sighed and shook her head. She didn't lift her eyes or say a word for quite some time.

"I guess," she began slowly, "this is usually the time I pack my bags and try somewhere else."

"Try what?"

"To find a home."

"Storybrooke still doesn't feel like home to you?" he asked with a frown. Did she mean just the place, or the people, too? Did that include him?

"It did, I think, for a little while; after the first curse broke, before I was sent away with Henry. But now..." She turned to another page in the book. "Look at this," she scoffed.

He looked, but he couldn't say he followed.

"Everyone in this town is a fairy tale character, a _fairy tale_ character! The more I find out, the weirder it gets. I still haven't gotten over the fact that my mother is a princess and my father is a prince. What about the rest? Regina used to rip out people's hearts, the nuns are all supposed to be fairies, and the dragon was an actual woman! I just don't feel like...like I can ever belong."

"Then where do you belong, Swan?"

"Besides being with Henry, I don't think I've ever belonged anywhere."

"It can still happen here, with us. I'm sure of it. I used to feel like you: for centuries, I had nothing but the Jolly Roger and my quest for revenge. Until I met you, Emma. If you stay, I promise it'll happen. Many people here love you. I-"

A mighty buzz shook them to the bone as a beam of orange light broke through the roof of the hospital behind them.

"What the hell was that?!"

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

"Is there anyone else here? Hello!" Hook yelled over the deafening buzz.

Emma had insisted that they help 'evacuate' the building.

"The wing is empty," he reported to her.

"David just called me back. They think it's Zelena's time portal. She found a way to twist the blessing ritual back into her time-travelling spell, even though it literally killed her."

They heard the sound of something crashing and something that could've been shoes skidding across the floor.

"Hello?" Emma ran towards the beam of concentrated magic before Hook could stop her.

"Wait! Be careful!"

The portal chose that moment to grow stronger and they were both swept off their feet by its magical pull.

Hook's artificial appendage found a small gap between two floor tiles and his other hand grasped Emma's.

"Hold on!"

"...I can't!" Emma screamed as the portal tore her away from him.

Hook knew he wasn't leaving this hospital without her. He knew, the second he lost the grip on her hand, what he was going to do next. But that didn't mean he had to be happy about it.

"One of these days, I'm gonna stop chasing this woman," he groaned and let himself get swallowed by the horrifying magical thing.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

Emma wished portals had the decency to spit you out on gentle pillows of moss instead of hardened forest floor.

She looked around. These were no ordinary woods.

"No. No..."

"You wished to go to the Enchanted Forest?"

"You kidding? After the _stellar_ impression it made on me during my last visit?"

"If this portal worked like any other I've been through, then our destination was determined by the thoughts of the first person through it. Where you thinking of this place?"

"…Damn it, I was. But I thought it was a time portal, wasn't it supposed to...to..."

"Swan?"

With a gasp, she just pointed at the piece of paper nailed to a tree. It said _Wanted: Snow White for crimes against the Queen: murder, treason, treachery_.

"We did move in time, too. I was thinking about the story of how my parents fell in love." Emma did not take this discovery well. "The portal is closed. We're trapped here. In the past. Shit. Shit!"

"It's all right, we've been in dire straits before. We have our wits; we just have to focus on being constructive," Hook gave her just the pep talk she needed.

He was still not sick of that, huh?

"So, does your magical brain have any ideas how to get us back?"

"I don't know. I guess we could try to recreate the ritual?" Emma inspected her hands. "The only magic I know is improvised. This is so out of my league."

"Don't underestimate yourself, love. You may not be the greatest wizard of all, but you're also the Savior."

"Wait! Why not ask the greatest wizard of all? Rumpelstiltskin-"

"Black knights!" Hook was suddenly grabbing her and pushing her against a tree.

Not in _that_ way. Not that she wanted him to or anything.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

After stealing some clothes and ruining the moment Emma's parents met, they spent the rest of the day walking. When Emma began to complain, he offered to loosen the corset for her and to his surprise, she agreed without a single suspicious look.

"Look ahead, Swan. The Dark One's castle."

"Wow. Imposing. How far away is that?"

"About two days, unless we steal us some horses."

"And then? We knock on the door and introduce ourselves? 'Hey, we're from the future...'"

"It might be best if I stay back. The Dark One and I have a rather complicated past. I'd wager he'd want to kill me on sight."

"Oh, I'll take that bet," a familiar voice behind him made them jump.

The Dark One gave a gleeful giggle.

Emma's jaw fell wide open.

"I can't tell you how long I've been looking forward to this!" The Dark One gloated.

Emma was still gaping at him like a fish.

"Oops. I suppose I just did," The Dark One gestured towards Hook's neck.

Emma's hand instinctively shot out and blocked his magic.

Her eyes, however, were still stuck to Rumpelstiltskin's appearance.

"Nobody ever told me he looked like this! That's a…That's a really cool look!"

"I beg your pardon?" Hook exclaimed.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

"The ripple effect. Once you change something in the past, anything from that point forward becomes uncertain. The future, as you can see, is a blank page," Hook's nemesis explained.

Meanwhile, Hook was still annoyed. Not only by Emma's excitement to meet Rumpelstiltskin in all his dark glory. Also by the fact that the Crocodile seemed to like Emma back. She had successfully doused his desire to kill Hook, convinced him that time travel existed, and was now roping him into helping.

"We need to get Snow to steal that ring so we can put their story back on track," she was currently saying.

"You're in luck. There's a ball tonight at King Midas's castle. Prince James will be there and so will his ring," the Dark One offered information without making her beg or bargain.

"So we just need to get Snow there," Emma smiled.

"How? We don't even know where she is," Hook couldn't help but rain on her parade.

Rumpelstiltskin cleared his throat: "Allow me."

Hook felt an urge to roll his eyes.

The warlock dragged out a showy gesture that sparked a connection between his crystal ball and some tavern.

Emma gave an impressed gasp: "There she is."

Instead of muttering expletives, Hook commented: "She's with Black Beard. She's trying to secure passage on his ship."

"And, it appears, failing," the Dark One's high pitch annoyed him some more. But Hook would be damned if his jealousy got in the way of their mission like it did with Neal in Neverland.

"She can't escape the Queen without the money she's supposed to get for the ring. Can you help us?" Emma turned wide, trusting, adorable eyes on the Crocodile.

"Help you? I can work on getting your portal to the future open again."

Emma immediately gave him a willing nod. Hook couldn't believe it. He agreed to do the hardest part of their quest!

"But getting your parents together? You made that mess, dearie. Only you know what you did. Now go undo it," he ordered her, but not unkindly.

"Right, got it," she said like a happy little student.

Ah! This was his chance to turn her attention back to him.

"If she's looking for passage out of town, I might know a ship's captain who can help us."

"Who?"

"Me," he threw in a cheeky smile just for good measure.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

"There I am. Rather dashing, don't you think?"

"Is this even a good idea? What about preserving the future?"

"It'll be fine. Given what I'm drinking, if I remember anything, I'll simply blame the rum. Just make sure that I - _he_ \- remains occupied, doesn't return to my ship. I'll take care of the rest."

"Okay..."

"Wai-w-wh – What are you doing?"

"Making sure he stays _occupied_. Shouldn't be difficult; you and I both know I'm his type."

"Swan, that man sitting there – you don't know him. Just be careful."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're jealous."

Or worried.

Or ashamed.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

"I have a confession to make."

"Most women do."

"Really?"

"Mhm," past Hook hummed and shifted so that he could sit closer.

He was smooth.

And much more drunk than she was used to.

But still very, very sexy.

"Usually," he began to murmur into her ear, "it's some deep dark fantasy they'd been keeping to themselves for far too long. They'd never tell their intended or their husbands, but here, with me, a pirate, a stranger with a name that isn't even a man's name, with a dirty soul drowned in rum that will move on tomorrow and never come back...Here, you find courage to get what you want."

That was quite the pickup line.

She regained a little distance between them and tucked a strand of her hair behind the ear he'd been breathing on.

"You think I'm taken?" she asked coyly.

"You have to be," he rasped, eyeing her hungrily.

"Why?"

He chuckled: "You know why."

"And yet, I want you to tell me," she flirted. Her hand went to his leather-clad knee.

"You're the most fascinating woman I've seen in years. There's a spark in your eyes that ignites fire in my veins. You know what you want, you know what you like, and you know what you're doing," he told her not even half an hour after he met her.

Emma's game face fell for a moment.

Smooth indeed.

"What' your name?" he whispered wistfully.

"Does it matter?" she blushed.

"That's entirely up to you, my lady. But it could bring you even more pleasure to hear me cry that name into the night."

He lifted her hand from his knee, kissed the inside of her wrist and put it back, a little higher on his leg.

"You're quite daring, captain. I might just want to talk. And drink. And steal a kiss, perhaps."

"Then I've been severely misreading your body language," Hook smirked, "for this captain senses a storm brewing within you." His eyes flickered when they looked into hers and he must've seen something that made his imagination run wild because he suddenly gulped and asked: "Would you like to see my ship?"

She slid her hand even higher up the leather on his thigh.

"A few drinks first."

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to get me drunk, which is usually my tactic."

"What's wrong, captain? Can't hold your rum?"

"No, not only can I hold it, but I can carry it right out the door. What do you say we set sail?"

Before she knew it, he stood up and outstretched a hand.

Emma looked around the tavern, searching for a way to stall some more.

"And get stopped and made to sit down with your jolly friends on the way to the door?" she nodded towards his table right in front of the entrance. "I'd much rather stay here with you a little longer, until they find their own _individual_ fun, if you catch my drift."

"No worry. I know where the back door is," Hook winked at her.

Emma reluctantly stood up. She would have to stall on the way to the ship, then.

"Let me get my cloak."

The back door led to a narrow, somewhat private back alley. Emma spotted a few large empty barrels standing against a wall. This would do.

"Before I go with you, you have to answer one question."

"Do I?"

"Well, it's more of a test," Emma said shyly while toying with the lapels on his coat. She backed up until her skirt hit the barrels.

"A challenge, lass?" Captain Hook said as he staggered a little bit.

"Yes. I will go with you, but only if you can make my knees weak...by just kissing me."

"Mmm, I will gladly be tested on that," he purred.

Without a warning, he grabbed the backs of her thighs, sat her on a barrel and moved her so that he would be nestled right between her legs, as close as can be.

Emma didn't have to fake her aroused gasp and heavy breathing.

Yet again, he took her in with his hungry eyes and got himself all worked up.

"Am I only allowed to kiss your lips? Or can I still win if I kiss you somewhere else?"

"Now that's the kind of innovative thinking that'll get you bonus points," Emma said huskily, grabbing the collar of his coat and planting her lips on his.

Both gave a little moan at the same time. The kiss quickly turned wild and intense and passionate. At first, Hook was showing off his techniques and focusing on his performance. Soon, however, Emma's lips, tongue and teeth made him forget all about the challenge he had accepted. Judging by his little groans and whimpers, he was surprised to receive this much pleasure from just kissing.

A couple minutes later, their breathing had grown so heavy that they needed to break away for air.

"Bloody hell," Captain Hook shook his head in disbelief.

Then, as if he couldn't help himself, he dove back in to kiss her neck.

Emma sighed. How long had she been secretly dreaming about this? She had spent a lot of time actively making herself NOT think about Hook in this context. How he looked at her. How his lips caressed his words when he was talking to her. How his body somehow always found itself close to hers. He had become such a distraction that in order to function properly, she had to completely ignore her own libido.

His chain of kisses ended at her ear, where he hotly breathed: "Oh gods, tell me your name."

Instead of answering, she pulled him closer and kissed down his neck, into the 'scandalous' V of his red vest.

Hook gave a breathy chuckle, either because her boldness surprised him, or because he was surprised by how much he liked it. He then rewarded her with a very deep kiss.

And this time, there was a hand creeping up her body, too. She couldn't feel much through the corset, but she definitely did feel his thumb above it, caressing the top of her breast.

She had spent months being afraid of this. Of showing how much she wanted him. Of giving in and losing her safe distance. Of finding out how good they felt together, only to have to learn to be alone again once they broke up. Now, she could have it without any of the consequences, because this Hook didn't love her – this Hook wouldn't even remember her.

There were five fingertips above the hem of her corset now, dancing over her skin so gently that it tickled. It was Hook's way of testing the waters. He broke the kiss to gage her reaction.

Did she mind that he was touching her cleavage? Hell no. Emma grabbed the hair at the back of his neck and guided his mouth where his fingers were. He kissed the tops of her breasts with fervor and conviction.

She wanted more. She wanted Hook's coat off. She wanted a lot more of their clothes gone, actually. She wanted to grab his hand and guide it under her skirt. Or, she wanted him to swap places with her so that she could kiss down his whole body. She wanted a one-night-stand with a drunk Hook from the past.

She grabbed the top edge of her corset along with the blouse and pulled. With the laces untied, the corset allowed for some space and revealed a little more of her left breast.

Hook paused and raised his head to take a good hungry look at her. Then, slowly, as if this was a rare moment in the history of his conquests or as if she was suddenly made of glass, he slid his hand inside the corset and cupped her breast. For that to happen, he had to take a small step to the side, though, and god help her, she wanted him back between her legs.

She used her grasp on his hair and pulled him in for another heated kiss. The new angle didn't make him kiss any worse, she had to say. The things this man could do with his tongue! But she still wanted him closer.

Emma's hand slid down, then under his long coat and onto the back of his upper thigh.

"Oh," he jumped a little and she wondered if this was the first time someone touched him like this.

She watched him squirm and lose control over his breathing as her hand slowly, slowly crawled up until it was firmly cupping his bum.

He growled into her ear and squeezed her breast under the corset, his thumb finding the nipple.

That was when she noticed a black-clad figure entering the back alley, freezing in their tracks and then ducking behind a pile of crates.

Hook. The other Hook. Her Hook.

Right. Mission. Fixing time. Stalling. That's why she was doing this.

For three more seconds, Emma fused her lips with the pirate's and indulged in the idea of 'occupying' this man for the rest of the night. But no, she had a ball to go to and a meet cute to supervise. Not to mention that her Hook had just seen them like this and could probably hear their smacking noises. Dragging this out any longer would be just cruel.

"Oh no," she moaned and tore herself away from her kissing partner.

Before he could react, her corset was free of his hand, her feet were on the ground and she was side-stepping him.

"I've just seen my husband walk by, he must be going through taverns, looking for me..."

"Wait," he commanded her, catching her wrist with the hook. He shook off the whiplash, schooled his features into an easy-going smile, and chuckled: "Where're you going, lass?"

"I have to go before my husband sees us. I'm so sorry," she gave him one more kiss. "You would've passed that test with flying colors, by the way," she whispered.

She tried to run off, but he stopped her yet again.

"No. Don't go. Stay here. I can take him."

"It's not about fighting him, my dear captain," Emma tried to lie the best she could. "If he sees me with a man, he'll divorce me and I'll be left without a penny. And trust me, I deserve that money."

He seemed to believe her. He probably wouldn't have if he had a little less rum in him.

"I can kill him for you," he said with a smirk.

"...What?"

"It'd look like a robbery. You could become a rich widow, if you want. A rich widow with me as an occasional nightly visitor," he murmured seductively.

She couldn't believe her ears. She took a step backwards, away from him.

"You would murder someone for a few nights with a random woman?"

"I would murder someone for a few nights with _you_ ," he specified, advancing on her.

Fortunately, they were now close enough for Hook to come out of his hiding, approach himself from behind and hit himself on the head.

Past Hook went to the ground like a sack of bricks.

"Are you all right?" present Hook asked.

Emma couldn't get rid of the shock in her face.

"What did he do? Did I – did he...were his advances...?"

"No, no," she stuttered. Suddenly, she felt a little dirty. She made out with a wannabe murderer. She wanted to have sex with him!

She hurriedly tied the laces to her corset and covered her body with her cloak.

"Are you sure?" Hook watched her with anguish in his eyes.

"Yeah," she murmured, unable to look him in the eyes.

He seemed to have arrived to a conclusion of his own, because he cursed and said: "This was a mistake. I should've never left you alone with him."

And to a small degree, Emma agreed.

Hook was right when he said that his past self was a different man.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

He didn't know what exactly happened between them.

Yes, he could see a few love bites on her neck and if his memory served right, he did catch them with his hand down her corset. He didn't even know what to think about that. But none of it seemed involuntary. Hook hoped that the reason she wouldn't look at him was just embarrassment, but there seemed to be more.

Emma was distracted. Using the money he liberated from the Jolly Roger, Hook hired a carriage to take them to King Midas's castle, and throughout the whole ride, Emma seemed deep in thought.

She only snapped out of it when they were visited, annoyingly, by the Crocodile. He let them know how his research into the time portal was going and gave them two invitations to the ball.

"We'll be in and out before you know it. I'm ready to get the hell outta here."

"Ooh, confidence. I like it."

Hook supressed an outrageous huff when Emma gave the Dark One an actual smile.

"One more thing," Rumpelstiltskin chirped, using a glamour spell to make them look like finely dressed strangers.

"The Savior cannot come this far and not play princess for a day."

Hook seriously believed this was the warlock's reward for Emma's smile.

But nevermind, she looked glorious in red and he got to be her escort for the evening, even though her tight corset and larger skirt were apparently uncomfortable and he had a useless fake hand instead of his trusty hook.

He loved how taken she was with the dancefloor. She even let him lead her smack into the middle and begin a simpler version of waltz with her. That was when she finally dared to look at him. In fact, she looked too much. She studied his face as if she was searching for something.

"You're making me nervous, love," he tried to laugh it off.

"Sorry. It's just...Sorry," she shook her head.

"Tell me what's bothering you, Emma," he insisted. She sighed.

"It's just that you changed so much."

"I know. I'm sorry about my past self..."

"That's not what I mean. Let's just – can we dance some more?"

"Of course. As you wish."

"Thank you."

Even though the party was crashed by the Evil Queen, everything seemed to work out once they made sure Snow White would escape the castle without an arrow in her back. But then, Emma noticed the bloody ring on the ground – Snow White must've dropped it. She ran to give it back to her while he fought off the guards. By the time Hook made it back into the ballroom, Emma was fully in Regina's clutches.

On top of the castle walls, he could take the black knights one by one, but here, he was vastly outnumbered. There was nothing he could do but watch as his beloved was towed away by the Queen's guards.

Hook stifled a roar in his fist. Think. Think...

 **3X22 There's No Place Like Home**

After somehow convincing Emma's parents to go help him save her, Hook found himself having a surprisingly deep campfire talk with Emma's dad.

"I don't know, this whole ordeal makes me wonder if there's even such a thing as true love," the so-called Prince James sighed.

Hook hesitated for a bit. What love advice could he give to the man whose true love would produce Emma the Savior?

"I once felt as you did, mate; and all it took was meeting the right person and everything changed."

"Princess Leia, the one we're rescuing?"

"Aye. I'd go to the end of the world for her – or time." Choosing the words, Hook realized how good it felt to discuss his feelings out loud after months of only hinting at them.

"And she for you, I take it?"

He chuckled and shook his head: "I don't know. She likes me. Or, used to like me – I'm not sure how she feels now, after the events of the last couple of days." He still felt anxious about whatever happened in the back alley of that pub. Getting himself and a girl disgustingly drunk used to be one of his tactics back in the day. Alcohol never made him pushy or violent with women, but it did make him eager to please and impress them in the stupidest ways. What did his dumb intoxicated head and empty heart come up with around a woman as magnetic as Emma...?

"What's the problem? Did the chemistry run out?"

"Ha! Never. I know she's attracted to me. Well, most of the times."

"Most of the times?" Prince 'James' raised a bemused eyebrow.

"Alas, there are moments when even my charm can't penetrate her," Hook had to admit. "I've seen many a man blush at my flirtations more than she does."

David chuckled, but when he saw Hook's sad smile, he grew serious again: "And you think she won't have you?"

"It's a possibility, yes. But right now, I'm wondering about another possibility – that she says yes but never grows to love me as much as I love her."

"You would enter that union?"

"In a heartbeat," Killian scoffed at his own weakness.

Thankfully, they were interrupted by a sound in the woods.

A sound that turned out to be a friendly werewolf, of all things.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

Watching Snow White's execution out of a castle window, Hook cursed his own name for not doing something differently. He was the one that brought her on this mission. What could he do now? Think. Think! Nothing. He couldn't do anything. Only comfort Emma.

So he hugged her as she watched her mother burn, grabbed her hand when her knees buckled on the way out of the palace, made sure she drank some water when they were setting up camp, and told her about the death of his brother as she stared blankly into a campfire.

"Wait...I'm still here," Emma suddenly realized. "We saw her die, which means I would never be born..."

"You should've faded from existence," Hook finished darkly. Was that still going to happen? Were these their last moments? What should he say? Should he confess his love to her? Probably not, it would only make her uncomfortable if she couldn't respond in kind.

Emma's mind, however, ran in a different direction: "Maybe she's still alive!"

And she was, it turned out. Emma was so happy she threw herself into Snow White's arms, only to be treated as a stranger in return. He could see how much it hurt her.

"Looks like we're back on track, love," he reminded her of the bigger plan. She let him wipe her tears and gave him a sad smile.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

From the moment Emma had stepped through the time portal, Hook's support of her was constant and unflinching. One could argue, of course, that he merely kept doing what he'd been doing over the last few months – only this time, it was just the two of them, so there was no time for her to shake off the effect he had on her.

He even organized a dashing rescue for her – one she didn't need but one she appreciated anyway. And it did force her parents to work together while making it supremely easy for Emma to find them on her way out.

Day three of their time-traveling escapade came around and Emma was sure Hook felt just as tired as her, yet his support never stopped coming.

When she set out to convince Regina's rescued prisoner to join them, he put on his soothing voice and tried his gentlest approach.

When she herself lost her patience with the woman and knocked her unconscious, he was like a kid at Christmas: "I always knew there was a little pirate in you, Swan!"

His pride made her feel all warm and tingly and she couldn't help but smile. Heroic or non-heroic, he always seemed to accept her, didn't he?

"Bloody hell," he cursed only a minute later when there was another timeline complication, but he came along and chased after her parents anyway.

"It's okay, Swan," he whispered as they watched Snow and Charming interact and she couldn't help another onset of tears. "Not everyone gets a chance to see their parents fall in love," he understood completely.

He was so invested, in fact, that he panicked when he saw them walk away from each other.

"No, that's okay. That's how it happened the first time. It took my parents a while to accept their feelings," she explained.

"Must run in the family," he mumbled, but that was as much as he would press. Instead of replying, she invaded his personal space and grabbed the book of fairy tales from his satchel, opening it to find its story returned.

Of course there had to be another problem. Even though Rumpelstiltskin found the wand that could send them home, there was a chance they'd have to keep it while walking through the portal. Refusing to risk losing the wand now that he had it in his powerhungry hands, he chose to betray them instead. Before he whisked them away 'somewhere even he dared not go,' Hook tried to attack him with a sword while Emma grabbed for something at the table.

For a second, the ground was pulled from beneath her like a rug, and then she was standing in a dungeon-slash-library-slash-vault. The glamour spell was gone and they were back in their old clothes.

"Well, at least I'm devilishly handsome again," Hook tried to joke.

"Hook," Emma gasped. She had finally looked down – she was holding a wand.

"Where did you get that?"

"I took it from his table."

"You think it's the one we need?"

"I don't know."

"Well, there's only one way to find out, love."

"You want me to try to do magic with it...in a vault full of dangerous magic?"

Hook looked around and shrugged: "Yes. You're the bloody Savior, you can do it," he still hadn't gotten tired of saying.

"Okay. Okay," she decided to give it her best shot. She focused. Her magic vision came into view. She focused some more.

"I suppose we should hurry before he finds out we took it," Hook mused.

She'd never used a wand before. She could see it had enormous magical potential, but she couldn't see specific spells, so she couldn't find the one they needed.

"Though, if we're lucky, he forgot about the wand when he drank that forgetting potion," Hook mumbled some more.

Perhaps the spell had to be improvised, like most white magic is. Emma tried to let the wand lead her somewhere, but she wasn't getting any specific vibes from it.

"Damn it," she hissed under her breath.

"What is it?"

"I don't know how to do it. I just don't have the instinct for it."

"Is it...because your magic makes you uncomfortable?" Without judgement, he brought up the thing that would probably cause outrage in every other fairy tale character.

"I don't know," she sighed.

"Perhaps it's because...you subconsciously don't want to go back to Storybrooke?"

"Why would I wanna stay here?" she frowned defensively.

"I said subconsciously, love. You told me you wanted to leave because it didn't feel like home."

"Well...not anymore," she grumbled, making him pause.

"What changed your mind?"

"Watching my mother die," she saw him flinch a little and then quickly nod as if that was the most obvious answer. "You saw what happened," she started a little speech. She finished with: "Neil was right. You don't have a home till you just miss it. And being with my parents the last few days but not really being with them, I've never missed them more."

Hook gave her a smile and then half-joked: "For a moment there, I thought it was my doing."

"I couldn't miss you, you were by my side all this time! You...you helped me see it, though."

"See what, Swan?"

"That Storybrooke is my home."

"There we go. Look down," he said with a proud smirk.

The wand was shining as if it was made of light, its spell accessed. How did she do that?

"Shall we go?" Hook showed no surprise whatsoever. He settled the unconscious peasant woman back onto his shoulder, as if their return was already a done thing.

It took another moment of pure concentration to manifest the spell into an actual doorway in front of them.

"Yep. Well done, Swan."

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

He remembered feeling a little worn out by their first journey through the time portal, but this time, after three days of exhausting events and very little sleep, it really did drain them dry. He took a moment to just lie on the hospital floor and breathe.

He heard the damsel Emma had rescued and kidnapped slowly waking up. _Thank heavens,_ he thought, _I wouldn't be able to carry her for another inch_.

"Oh my god," Emma groaned. She tried to stand up and immediately gave up.

"My sentiments exactly," Hook sighed.

"What...Where...What did you do?!" The woman was beginning to panic.

Emma gave another protesting groan.

"I got it," Hook gritted his teeth and got to his feet.

"No, let's just...take her to Granny's, tell her the basics on the way over and then let someone else get her through the rest."

"Good plan," Hook offered her a hand.

The walk was only a few hundred feet, but it felt like miles. The rescued prisoner, whose name was apparently Marian, took her time looking around the street and asking questions, so she wasn't likely to outrun their snail pace.

Hook was pleasantly surprised to feel Emma's arm wrap around his waist. She tugged at him until he leaned against her just as much, which made their walk a little stronger. His arm naturally went around her shoulders and she didn't seem to mind. He could get used to this.

At last, they reached the tavern.

David noticed them first.

"Emma. You weren't answering your cell, we were worried."

"I'm fine," Emma shocked him by walking straight up to him and hugging him.

Hook took that as his cue to back off and transfer Marian's care into someone's patient and considerate hands. He kept an ear out for Emma's reunion scene, though.

"We got swept into the portal, but it's okay now. I'm home," he could hear her breathy confession as she shifted to embrace her mother. "I'm finally home. I missed you, I love you both... And I'm really really tired," she kept her speech short but sweet.

"I can see that. You look dead on your feet!" the Prince was concerned and Hook couldn't help but sympathize. The Savior's father and the man in love with the Savior share the same impossible task, after all: trying to protect someone with a great destiny, whose enemies can often only be defeated by her.

"I just need to sleep."

"Aye, we both do. For two days straight, I'd say," Hook chose this time to chime back in.

"Oh, that would be awesome," Emma included him immediately. She used to ignore him when he barged in on her conversations like this.

The newborn in Snow White's arms stirred up and started to cry. Emma's smile fell with realization.

"Hook, your room upstairs. Do you still have it?"

"Of course, and it's yours if you want it," the words came out before he gave them much thought.

"And make you walk all the way to the harbor? No way. We're sharing," she said in a voice so final that nobody dared to argue with her. She just grabbed his sleeve and upstairs they went.

On her second prompting, he produced the key to the room. She started taking off her jacket and shoes as soon as she stepped in. Was he expected to sleep on the floor? After her mysterious experience with Hook's past self, he wouldn't be surprised.

Emma bundled the covers so that they formed a small divide in the middle of his bed and landed on one half with an ungraceful sound. She tossed around, found a comfortable sleeping position, closed her eyes, and then she remembered to tap the other half of the bed in a beckoning gesture.

"Come ooon. Use the covers, if you'd like. I won't," she drawled sleepily.

"This is not at all how I imagined our first time sleeping together, Swan," he scoffed.

"Umm-hmm..." She was clearly dozing off.

While his head was spinning from befuddlement, he took off his coat, shoes and hook. Sleeping in leather pants was never nice, but he'd rather do that than offend the lady. After a little inner debate, his self-conscious side lost and he took off the harness as well, revealing the stump where his left hand should be.

As tired as he was, once he lied down next to Emma, his thoughts kept him wide awake. What was happening between them right now? He needed to know.

"Emma?"

"Hmm."

"What happened with me – the other me – in that back alley?"

"Tomorrow," she sighed.

"The wondering won't let me sleep, love."

She moaned in reluctance, but then her eyes cracked opened a bit.

"I made up a lie about a husband to get away from you..."

"And?"

"And you wanted to kill him."

"...Oh. I'm...I'm a different man now, Emma, I swear."

"I know," she reached over the blanket and found his hand. "So very different. That's what confuses me. When I first met you, you were pretty much the guy from that back alley. How did you change so much over just a year or two?"

"Because of you."

Her eyes closed when he said that. Was that good or bad?

"I don't wanna be your only reason. I don't wanna be your Belle," she whispered.

"You won't be," he promised. They had never been this close to truly discussing the possibility of a relationship.

"Tomorrow?" she murmured, drifting off to sleep.

"Aye, tomorrow," he kissed her hand good night.

 **~~#~~###~~#~~**

For the first time in a while, she had the luxury of waking up slowly, on her own. During this half-hour she spent in between being asleep and awake, she vaguely remembered a few things happening around her. Now that she was up, she knew what they were:

Movement next to her and sounds from the bathroom, that was Hook waking up before she did.

The sharpness of daylight on her eyelids that disappeared with a small noise, that was him drawing the curtains closed so that she could get more sleep.

The scratching of pen on paper and then a gentle thud, that was him writing her a note before he left the room. Except the scratching seemed to take much longer than the note she found on his pillow: _I ventured out to get us refreshments. I will return shortly. Hook._

Emma's fingers scanned the surface of the paper while her eyes went to a notebook on the table. Hook clearly composed another message before he discarded it – the paper bore penning indentations from a significantly longer note that was written on top of this one, finished with a sweeping and almost perfectly visible "Sincerely, Killian."

The first letter was probably in the trash, but even if it wasn't, there was still a way she could read it. All she needed was a pencil to highlight the indentations.

But should she?

Her lips curled in a small smile.

No.

His first letter probably addressed what she dropped on him last night while falling asleep. And they _were_ going to discuss that. As a matter of fact, there were several things they would have to discuss if they wanted to start something serious.

Emma sprung out of the bed and ran to brush her teeth.

Of course Hook wasn't perfect. Yes, he changed his ways at least partially so that he could get into her pants; yes, he still found some joy in self-justified violence; yes, he probably classified as a functioning alcoholic; and yes, there might be many differences between their views on gender, sex, romance, and relationships.

Hook returned just as she was trying to comb her hair with her fingers.

"Morning, Swan. I bring donuts, coffee and hot chocolate – I wasn't sure whether you'd want to get up or go back to sleep afterwards."

The thing was, Emma never asked for someone perfect – that would make her a hypocrite, as she was far from perfect herself. She asked for someone who wouldn't lie to her, desert her or betray her. And after everything they'd been through, as unlikely as his careless and womanizing attitude made it seem, she now knew that that someone was Hook.

She approached him with that small smile on her face that she hadn't been able to shake all morning. Her eyes zeroed in on the armful of goods.

First, she picked up the paper bag and took a peek at the pastry.

"Yes," was her verdict before she set it down on a table.

Then, she went for the hot drinks.

"Hmm, yes," she hummed as she took a sniff.

"With cinnamon," he mumbled somewhat nervously.

Leaving it on the table, her hands moved to grab the lapels of Hook's leather coat, as if that was the perfectly natural progression of things.

"And yes," she said as she tasted his lips.

Much like during their first kiss, Hook recuperated from his initial shock like a champ. But this time, she wasn't attacking him with intensity and carefree passion; the touch of her lips was slow, gentle and soft, and he responded in kind.

In Emma's mind, it was her turn to make the first step. To open up and offer a piece of her heart, trusting it wouldn't get crushed all over again.

After a while, she slowly drew back. He had the most vulnerable look on his face.

"I, uh, I had a speech prepared," he breathed.

"I'd love to hear it," she gave him another smile.

"Maybe," he paused as his arm went around her waist, "maybe it can wait."

He leaned against the closed door and tugged her along. She went with it.

He seemed perfectly content with keeping their kissing slow, tender, and innocent. All the escalation was her doing: she introduced the playful nipping, she started teasing him with her tongue, she slid her fingers down the V of his vest.

He ripped away with a reluctant sigh.

"You ok?"

"Aye, I just...don't know the new rules yet."

"Then let's hear you out and do the talking we need to do," Emma kissed him once more, trying to make the offer seem as unintimidating as possible, because she herself truly believed the talk would go well.

They sat down with their coffee and hot chocolate.

Killian searched in his head for his speech. The gloom of its first threads made him release a heavy sigh.

"A long time ago, I used to think I was a good man," he began. "I didn't think of myself as just another pirate; I was an avenger. I wasn't stealing from innocent traders; I was financing a just cause. I wasn't killing sailors just like the one I used to be; I was weakening the forces of an evil king."

He paused and wiped his mouth, eyes ducking in shame, before continuing.

"It wasn't abuse of authority; it was establishing the crew's morale. It wasn't torture; it was drawing important secrets out of the king's ally. It wasn't," he gulped and started anew: "It wasn't leading married women astray; it was searching for true love. And it wasn't planning to kidnap a son from his father; it was planning to make our family complete."

He sighed. Emma squeezed his hand.

"All of this changed when Mila died. In my desire to kill Rumpelstiltskin, I embraced the idea of being a bad man. I looked back at my life and told myself that I'd always been one, anyway. And from then on, I was a villain. Even when I spent so many decades back on that island, not really hurting anyone, I believed I was still a villain – once a murderer, always a murderer. But then I met you."

He took a second to look at her. She wasn't going anywhere.

"Of course I was attracted to you. And intrigued by you. But then I realized that your heart carried just as much bitterness, loneliness, isolation, and perhaps even more distrust than mine; and yet, you were still the hero of your story. Always trying to make the right decisions. Putting your neck on the line so that other people wouldn't suffer."

Emma tried to hide her blush.

"You became an inspiration to me. In the end, when I stole that magic bean, I was going to start over somewhere else and do better this time. But then, as my ship drew further away from the shore, I realized that I'll probably fail as soon as I return to my old world. My chances were small if I went at it alone, and even smaller if I rejoined my crew. But with you around to remind me, I just might get it right."

He looked from their hands to her eyes, gaging her reaction. If only he knew she was doing her best not to kiss him again.

"I need you to know that it didn't stay like that forever, though. Throughout our acquaintance, I got to know you as a human being, not as an inspiring idea. I suppose that was the day I fell in love with you. But I've gained many more reasons to be one of the heroes, so it doesn't all depend on you. In fact, I have a list-"

She really couldn't be blamed for shooting out of her chair, leaning over and planting her lips on his. I mean, did you read that speech? She _was_ only human.

Two or three kisses later, she calmed herself enough to lean her forehead against his and take a deep breath.

"Ahem. First, there's the matter of my own conscience – and it appears I do still have one," he started, and she couldn't help herself from kissing him again. "Hmm, second, I do feel pride in good work and good form," he carried on while she took a second to straddle his lap. She went back to kissing him as soon as she could. "Third, third…" he mumbled and she let him speak after a while: "I forgot the third one exactly, but it was something about people revenge-stabbing me in my sleep and this word Henry told me about, karma," he said, but his determination to complete the list was waning, his arms going around her and squeezing her closer. "Uh, fourth, I do like an interesting life full of adventure, and well, a life at your side-"

"I love you," she whispered.

His mouth fell open. Then it was his turn to kiss her with the speed of a bullet.

"I love you too," he gasped the words afterwards, as they squeezed each other tight. "I do, Emma. My love."

She kissed the tip of his ear from her position, and that seemed to fire him up again. This time, the kiss was bone-deep, confident, and full of promises of really great sex in her future.

"So, what was number five?" she asked teasingly once they broke for air.

"Huh? Uh, friends. Real friends. Once I'm not trailing your steps every minute, I really plan to make some. I'm telling you, your father is halfway to liking me already."

She chuckled. _Not if he knows half the stuff we'll be doing,_ she thought, shifting her thighs on his lap.

"And six?"

"Oh, that'll be Henry. I'd never dream of replacing his father, but-"

Emma groaned and kissed him again.

"I'd say we've done a lot of talking for the day, hmm, Killian?"

"As you wish," he said with a happy grin.

He convinced her. She may never have a normal life, but she could still have happiness.


End file.
